There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
