You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
