My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
