everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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