I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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