Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
