It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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