yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize