is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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