he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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