The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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