I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
