he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
