I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
