I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
