whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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