oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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