it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
