You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
