i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
