Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize