I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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