if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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