and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
