The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
