Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
