So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
tell me about the fingering
Randomize