I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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