Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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