it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize