Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
