i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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