I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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