Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize