So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
