Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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