Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
wow bdsm is so cute
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
