I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
