So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
