I wanna passion pit in your ass
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
