I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
