I hope mine doesn't look like that
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i need some magic done to my vagina
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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