Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
