I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
