Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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