I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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