This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
