I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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