the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
