I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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