the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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