You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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