im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
