So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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