double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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