you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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