The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
