1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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