i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
