Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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