He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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