Taylor Swift is so right about you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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