I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize