i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize