# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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