Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
