he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
