you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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