You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
