So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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