Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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