called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
